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Welcome to It’s Textured, a column where we untangle the joy, trauma, confusion, and frustration that can come with Black hair. This month, associate beauty editor Annie Blay-Tettey reflects on the frustrations of natural hair care, especially for moms, and how cutting off her hair gave her a sense of practical and emotional postpartum relief.
There’s hair all over the bathroom sink, the floor is slippery from a combination of water and conditioner, the baby is crying, and I’m close to joining her. This kind of scene is far from the calming, self-care ritual that wash days seem to be on social media, but it became my reality the first time I washed my hair after giving birth.
In my third trimester, almost every Black mother I know encouraged me to get “birth braids,” the colloquial term for a protective style worn during labor and postpartum so new parents don’t have to deal with their hair in addition to a newborn. I opted to get mini twists three weeks before I gave birth. The first month postpartum was bliss—sleepless, sure, but blissful nonetheless. Each morning I took my twists from my bonnet, shook them out to separate them, then headed into the day to soak up all the newborn cuddles. But after four weeks, I finally had to face my first baby: my hair.
My hair in mini twists 10 days postpartum.
Courtesy of Annie Blay-Tettey
If I had to summarize my relationship with my hair, I’d say we were once estranged and are now working to build a loving partnership. Any Black woman with natural hair will tell you that maintaining our curls and coils is work. The levels of labor vary from woman to woman and texture to texture, but the overwhelming sentiment is that natural hair can be, well, overwhelming. Before having a baby, my wash days typically took three to four hours, including washing, conditioning, detangling, and styling.
My curls in my second trimester.
Courtesy of Annie Blay-Tettey
After I had a baby, that time frame doubled. The steps were all the same, but now I had to stop every 30 minutes to breastfeed or tend to my crying one-month-old daughter. By the fifth hour of my first wash day postpartum, I stood in front of my mirror, frustrated, with sopping wet hair (that was also shedding profusely). The next day, I cut it off.
Beauty editor Aimee Simeon received the same advice I did about getting a postpartum protective style, but she decided not to get birth braids before having her daughter. “I can give birth with my hair in a ponytail and come home and figure it out," she said to herself.
Deceived by the ease of taking care of her hair during pregnancy, thanks to those growth-inducing hormones, Simeon found herself struggling to keep up with her curls postpartum. “I was very busy,” she recalls. “I was learning all of these new things. I was trying to breastfeed. I had so much going on with my hair. I couldn't sit down and do a wash- and-go or do something to keep my natural hair looking cute.”
Instead of immediately reaching for the scissors, Simeon reached for her flatiron. “I was flatironing my hair almost every day,” she says. Naturally, heat damage followed, and the new mom was forced to chop off her “ramen noodle curls.” As she explains, “It was a very abrupt, random decision, but I felt like it would be the quickest way to deal.”
Simeon after cutting off her hair.
Simeon decided to just wing her hair routine post-baby, but beauty writer Janell Hickman-Kirby took no chances with her postpartum hair-care plan. “I begged my stylist to come to the house to do my braids,” says Hickman-Kirby. Birth braids were a non-negotiable for the Brooklyn native, and she continued to lean heavily on protective styles as she adjusted to life as a mom. “I didn't really wear my natural hair because it felt like too much work to just kind of keep it styled and defined, so I really, really relied on protective styles.”
No matter the coping method, the sentiment among fellow new moms I spoke with is the same: We don’t have the time or energy to care for our babies and our natural hair. And the task of caring for natural hair postpartum becomes even more arduous for moms suffering from postpartum depression, something 10-to-15% of women in America experience. “When a mom is experiencing postpartum depression, even the simplest self-care tasks can feel insurmountable,” says Elizabeth Baron, LMHC, licensed psychotherapist and Nara's maternal mental health advisor. “They’re just so preoccupied with feeding and soothing the baby, in addition to household tasks, they forget or don’t have time to address their own basic needs.”
Right after I gave birth, my brain was all about the baby. I felt like I was in survival mode, which meant hair seemed like a luxuriously frivolous thing to be thinking about—but in reality, it’s not. Hair care is as essential to your well-being as taking a shower or brushing your teeth.
For many Black women, styling can’t be divorced from basic hair care—for us, there’s no just shaking your hair out after a shower and going about your day. If I don’t twist my hair or, at the very least, add some product and detangle it after washing, I can expect single-strand knots and dryness, which will ultimately lead to breakage.
I chopped my hair off out of utter frustration, but also out of curiosity. I felt like I was crossing over into a new version of myself, and cutting my hair was the final step into this new identity. I had just pushed out a whole baby; bravery was practically my middle name now, and I wanted to know what it would feel like to take another courageous leap.
My hair after my “big mom chop.”
Courtesy of Annie Blay-Tettey
I’ve always attached a lot of worth to my hair, comparing my coils to looser, longer curls that looked “prettier,” but after having a baby, I felt a new sense of beauty that didn’t have as much to do with how I looked. The chop wasn’t just about cutting a few stands; it also meant cutting off an unhealthy attachment, detaching my sense of beauty and self-worth from my hair.
After figuring out how to style my new crop (finger coils are my go-to), I have felt free in a way I hadn’t before. My baby has captured so much of my attention that I no longer have time to be so focused on the way I look—and that actually feels really nice. Sure, my wash days are shorter and more manageable, but I also feel more internally confident and sure of myself. That is the real win.
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